WOMER'S WISDOM
Dear Womer,
I found out my best friend's
boyfriend cheated on her during a one night stand. He asked me not to tell her
because he made a mistake and promised never to do it again. He seemed really
sincere. What should I do?
Ms. Dilemma
Dear Ms.
Dilemma,
You sure are in a dilemma! "To tell or not to tell, that
is the question!"
Here's my wisdom on the subject. Let me share with you
from my personal experience as I set the stage first and then tell you how I
handled it.
I was recently in this same situation with two of my best friends from home
over. Over Thanksgiving break they started to see each other. When the break was
over he went back to school in Maryland and she stayed at home. They talked to
each other daily and anticipated spending Christmas vacation with each other.
When I came home for vacation I found out he cheated on her while he was at school. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place because I know how much my friend cared for him and this news would break her heart. But on the other hand if I told her about it, my friendship with my guy friend might end because I ratted on him. No matter what choice I made there were going to be repercussions.
I thought long and hard and in the end I decided to tell my best friend that he cheated on her. I knew it would break her heart, but I thought it would be worse if she was left in the dark and found out later on in the relationship. She confronted him and he denied it so their relationship ended.
Even if your best friend’s boyfriend sounds sincere in that he would never do it again, do you want to be responsible for making that judgment?
I made the decision to tell my friend in the hopes that they could work it out. If that happens with your friend that is great, but having the responsibility of keeping a secret from my best friend was just too much.
Could you live with that secret and be comfortable near your friend?
Just put
yourself in her shoes and I am sure you would want to know if he was your
boyfriend and your friend found out that he was cheating on you. So my advice
would be to tell her and let them work it out.
P.S. WOMOCK
Sincerely,
Womer