Complaints of loneliness can be solved

Ezekiel Lim
Pittsburgh Standard

         Throughout my freshman year here at Pitt, I’ve had nothing but complaints about the school and the city of Pittsburgh in general.  My parents and the friends that I’ve made here can verify that.  I’m sure many college students can understand how I was feeling at the time. I was six hours away from home, which is a long distance from my family, friends, girlfriend, and comfort zone. 

I was both intimidated and confused by this strange new world that lay before my eyes. I was intimidated by the fact that I no longer had my close friends, many of whom I’ve known since my pre-teen years, there to comfort me and be there to defend me if trouble should arise. 

My parents were no longer a holler to the next room away.  I would be forced to wait months at a time for those hugs and kisses my girlfriend made so readily available.  I would have to start all over again establishing new connections to go alongside the ones I’ve made during my years at home. 

            With this intimidation came confusion and uncertainty.  I was uncertain about the types of people I would encounter here at school.  Questions about what kinds of people I would befriend here began to arise in my mind.   I began to find that many of the people I was befriending proved to be what the movie Fight Club deemed “single-serving friends”. 

I also found that the friends that I was making didn’t add up to what I had back home.  It also didn’t help that I’d wind up being dumped by my girlfriend and replaced with a new face only three weeks into my freshman year. 

Ever since then I’ve been trying to find a cure for this burden called loneliness.   I’ve tried just about every method to no avail.  I’ve tried the house parties, the dance parties, and the student organizations in search of something to fill this empty void that was left inside of me as a result of my being away from home.  I would find that after a short time, the loneliness I was trying to rid myself of would resurface. 

            It wasn’t until this school year, my sophomore year that I realized what my mistakes were.  I was clinging to the past trying to befriend the same types of people that I called my friends in high school.  I was putting myself first and expecting everything to be the way I wanted it.  Through all these experiences, I found that the way to truly feel loved and appreciated is to show that love towards other people. 

In order to feel appreciated, one should go and show someone else that appreciation.  It’s a matter of giving that which you wish to receive.  By giving up expectations for how circumstances should turn out and instead helping someone else out, one can find that the feeling is like no other.

 The singer Nelly Furtado couldn’t have summed it up better than her lyrics in the song Turn Off The Light that say “where is the love that I’m looking to find? It’s all in me why can’t you, why can’t you see that it’s all in me.” 

One doesn’t need a steady relationship or one million or so people greeting them on the street to fill that lonely void that is left by being away from home. By making someone else feel appreciated, one can find that his or her actions were not in vain. Through all this I’ve found that my stay here at Pitt has been more fulfilling than I ever expected it to be. 

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