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“'Jon & Kate Plus 8' Expresses Enormous Emotions Dawning Divorce's Disappointment!”

By Kristen Agnew
Staff Writer

Agnew's Analysis:
Nov 25, 2009

Kate wiped back tears as she gave her final comments in tonight's episode, the last (at least for now) of the epic story and TV reality show, "Jon and Kate Plus 8," known and loved in many households.

About her and Jon's divorce: "It is what it is," and she is not going to prevent him from spending time with their kids, she said.

It sounds noble enough, and I'd like to take her at face value.

I could tell Jon was stressed out the first time I watched the show. Ironically, it was the episode where they went to Hawaii to renew their 10-year-anniversary vows. Sure, he loved his family and he laughed with the kids.

Part of the time, though, it was like his face said, "I'm checked out."

With what has happened over the past year, it is sad to remember the elegant ceremony on the beach. When I first saw the grocery-checkout tabloids, with rumors of affairs, my first reaction was, the media is ruining their lives! Then I settled to thinking: this is their business, and America should butt out. This is why I will try to keep my commentary respectful and to the minimum.

Divorce is all too common across the nation.

If Jon and Kate can't make it, who will? (slight hyperbole, there)

I can leave it to the experts to answer. However, the phrase "It is what it is" struck me tonight, not just because Kate was making sense of her disappointment, regret, or relief (I imagine she and Jon are both going through many emotions, both positive and negative)-- "It is what it is" sticks out in my mind, because it is often spoken in contexts where expectations did not meet reality, and this sentence is all that we can say.

"Well THAT happened," I heard someone quote this more comedic line from an actor's response to a car rolling off the road. Showing no effect of the trauma, it made me laugh. In a way, though, this type of verbiage is refreshing, more peaceful, because it reveals an acceptance of what occurred, and a readiness to move on.

Could it be the same with Kate's assertion?

Let's not let the past rule us.

Obviously, some situations require more than a passing, Zen-like mantra. I doubt that Kate is meditating "It is what it is" in order to move on with her life and role as a mother.

Will the show air again, refocused on her as a single mom?

Will America draw hope from a citizen who represents a growing number of women in our population?

These questions remain to be answered in the coming months.

As for the media, I ask, what role does shame have in the reality TV idols' lives?

Let's remember that they're human, too, and maybe we'll learn something that can shape what our lives will be.

Kristen Agnew is a graduate student and a cell group leader of Living Acts which is part of Oakland International Fellowship, the English congregation for Pittsburgh Chinese Church-Oakland! 

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