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“My Marriage's Triumphant Ten Reflection, Reminds Faithful Fifty! ”

Ramesh C. Reddy
Publisher

"The man who finds a wife finds a good thing; she is a blessing to him from the Lord. A father can give his sons homes and riches, but only the Lord can give them understanding wives." (Proverbs 18:22, 19:14, TLB)

Chitty, with the Lord's blessings we became one
As we married under the blessing of the Son
The Lord God made us one when we were two
Before family and friends when we said, 'I Do'
In marriage, we have always lived as three
Serving the Lord Jesus Christ who set us free
Sustained by God's Word, prayer, church, and family of four
Loving one another each year more and more
Surpassing marriage anniversary of 10 and five
Into a new house and new beginnings we dive
Living as an extended family of six
With the love of Jesus always in our mix
Celebrating with our in-laws our marriage anniversary of seven
As we sung worship songs to the Lord God of earth and Heaven
Living our lives in the loving grace of Jesus' promise in Ephesians 2:8
Even in marriage struggles upon the Lord Jesus we wait
Claiming the promises of  Joshua 1:8-9
Rooting our marriage life in Jesus, the perfect Vine
Love you sooo much as we celebrate marriage anniversary of ten
Knowing marriage stays strong with Jesus who blesses women and men!

If my loving daddy were alive today, my loving mommy and daddy would have been married for 50 years today on Sunday, August 09, 2020. Even though my daddy is with the Lord Jesus in heaven, my mommy wants to visit his gravesite to remember what an awesome loving husband he was to her. I remember seeing a picture of my mommy sitting on my daddy's lap and how much love they had for each other. At the time of marriage, though both of them were not followers of Christ but my mommy was a devout Hindu, when she became a born-again Christian, my daddy is the one who got the first Bible for her to read. Decades later, he gave his life to Christ too.

When it came to my loving mommy, my daddy would say there was no other woman in the world like my mommy. When my daddy would say those words, he reminded me of the a Scripture verse from Proverbs 31.

"Her children stand and bless her; so does her husband. He praises her with these words; "There are many fine women in the world, but you are the best of them all!" (Proverbs 31:28-29, TLB)

While growing up, in my daddy's life and our lives, my loving mommy would always exemplify a Proverbs 31 woman for my daddy. He loved her so much even through their marriage struggles. When my daddy was in the intensive care unit, my mommy would be by his bedside and read him the New Testament and Psalms everyday rarely ever leaving the hospital. For 70 days she did that until the day he gave his life to the Lord Jesus Christ and went to heaven.

Now, as I reflect back on my parent's marriage which would have been 50 years today, he provided for our family so much. As a Professor of Mathematics, he never let his prestige or anything come in the way of his family. He always put his wife and children first before himself. Both my parents exemplified selfless living. To this day, my mommy still does that.

It is my mommy's love for Jesus that was reflected in the marriage too. Not once did my mommy or daddy go for marriage counseling. It is my mommy's love for Jesus and her dependence on God's Word and Christian ministry programs that held the marriage together in a loving way.

Even in marital conflicts, when my mommy had tears, I asked her what was wrong and her response was, "I have tears nana not because your daddy did something but I am praying to the Lord Jesus and am sad with myself if my actions may have been detrimental to your daddy. I don't want him to sin in anger because of my actions."

This is the type of family environment we grew up in so when I had thoughts of marriage, I wanted to find a wife like my mommy was to my daddy when he was alive. I wanted a wife who would exemplify Proverbs 31. But more than that, my mommy prayed for me to find a woman who would love the Lord Jesus more than me to be my wife. I also prayed for a wife who would love Jesus more than me. When I pursued a lovely woman in the hopes of marriage, her response to me was, "I want to marry a man who loves Jesus more than me." That statement alone was so powerful to draw me to my now precious wife Chandraleela.

After almost 256 pages of email correspondence which was read by my mommy and my loving former Pastor Hugo, I was given their blessings to marry Chandraleela. I was also told by Pastor Hugo if I let go of her, not to come crying back to him.  I had never met Chandra in person until 1 week before marriage. It is then that I saw her face to face. After a week, by the Lord's grace and mercy, we were married on Friday, July 30, 2010.

For years, I wanted to get married but the marriage prospects were falling apart either from their end or my end. Eventually, I got so frustrated that I had to examine my own life and realized before marrying anyone, I need to get to know the God of the Bible deeply. So, from America's Independence Day of July 04 to India's Independence Day of August 15, I read through the whole Bible desiring to have a deeper relationship with the Lord Jesus before pursing a marriage relationship during those 40 days.

During that time, Jesus gave me a signature verse for my life: "But life is worth nothing to me unless I use it to do the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus, the work of telling others about God's mighty goodness and love." (Acts 20:24, TLB)

I made my criteria to find a wife so hard that I knew if the criteria were all met for 40 criteria, it had to be the Lord and Lord alone who brought us together. Thank you Jesus!

Before going to India to meet Chandra, Chandra told me, "If the Lord wants us to be together, no one can take that away. If we are meant to be together and be married, it will happen. You don't have to be sad if it does not happen!"

Thank you Lord Jesus that it happened!

There are those that believe that I lucked out getting a wonderful woman like Chandraleela as my wife, but I don't believe in luck at all as Proverbs 18:22 states. I only believe in the Lord's blessings and divine appointments. It is the Lord's blessing that brought Chandraleela into my life.

At times I think to myself with my short-temper, I don't deserve such a loving wife, but then I am reminded of the Lord's infinite grace where His love is unconditional and not based on merit but love alone. It is His love for us that He has joined us together in holy matrimony. During those moments of short-temper, I am reminded of my daddy's weakness of short-temper too and how loving my mommy endured through it just like Chandra has done for me. Lord help me overcome this!

Just as my mommy and daddy never saw the need for counseling in all their years of marriage but my mommy's dependence on prayer, God's Word seeking Jesus daily on her  part and watching Christian ministry programs is what  sustained the marriage in love even through the struggles.

My wife had that same desire not to share our dirty laundry with people outside the home. When we got married, she asked me to  make a vow to one another that if we ever had marital struggles or issues, we will never share it with anyone but Jesus. By the Lord's grace, we have done that for a little over 10 years. Not once has she ever shared anything bad about me even with her mommy. This is not to say, we have had a perfect marriage because we have not. But it is the Lord Jesus that has sustained us through our marriage.

What has helped us throughout our marriage is the time we have spent with each other almost everyday. While growing up my mommy trained me to always make time for loved ones in preparation for my wife to be in the Lord's future. Chandra and I would share what we learned in God's Word everyday with each other that Pastor Hugo hoped it would continue through the years. We would watch Telugu and Hindi movies together. We would watch Christian movies and shows together. But most of all we would also spend time together playing with each other whether it was UNO, Carroms, Rummikub, Sequence, Memory Game, Rummy, etc doing things with our daughters too! My discipleship with Pastor Hugo and Pastor Josh has helped in our marriage too.

The time we have spent together making years of memories have helped sustain us during the hard times. Sometimes we spend too much time together that our daughters say, "You always spend time with mommy. I want my mommy". Even after so many years of marriage, we have had people say to us, "I love it how you guys are so in love with each other."

This love is a by product of seeking the Lord Jesus in our lives and the love shown towards each other through the Lord's grace.

Have there been painful moments and tearful moments in our marriage?

Of course! But through it all, for us it has been our love for the Lord Jesus and our time with each other that builds us up for another day.

Is their value in marriage counseling if  a marriage is not going well?

Of course there is especially if it is Biblically based including marriage seminars, marriage books, etc.

I love how our current Pastor Josh reminds us not to think of it as marriage counseling when we meet up with other couples but to think of it as discipleship where we build each other up in marriage. We have decided to do that with married couples such as Pastor Josh & Courtney, Pastor Mike & Jeanne, Pastor Bucknell & Linda, Pastor Ridge & Connie, Elder Calvin & Elise, Rodney & Suzanne, Campus Minister Jesse & Emily as we start a new decade of marriage in our lives if any of them want to meet.

We want our marriage to reach 50+ years of marriage where the decades of marriage are filled with more love than the previous decade of marriage as the Lord allows us to live through the years like my mommy and daddy's.

If my mommy and daddy videotaped or took pictures on each of their marriage anniversaries like I did, I cannot help wonder if they would have been like our marriage adventures on the year of each anniversary and beyond.

I thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for my mommy and daddy meeting each other and getting married. I thank the Lord Jesus that my mommy and daddy had me and 3 other brothers. Because my mommy and daddy had me, with the Lord's grace, I was able to grow up and eventually marry my P.L.U.S wife who is prayerful, loving, understanding, and supportive.

I want to thank my loving mommy so much whose selfless love like my daddy's love, made her sacrifice so much of her time before our precious daughters Esther and Evangeline were born and after so that Chandra and I can have as much time together as we wanted. She always made sure we had restful nights while she lovingly took care of her granddaughters. She also made sure we would have as much time as possible with each other which helped out with our yearly memories. But more than that, she instilled in us to watch Christian movies and programming together daily. Thank you Mommy! Thank you Daddy!

Most of all I want to thank the Lord Jesus Christ for His answers in our lives. When I asked for the prayers of the pastors and elders to find a new house to live to celebrate 10 years of married life, he made it happen in an unexpected way. We had to vacate the place we lived for 25 years. The place we came to made Chandra raise her hands and praise the Lord when she saw it for the first time saying, "Lord, you are a More than Enough God, More than Enough God, More than Enough God!" Thank you Jesus.

In closing once again,

Chandraleela, with the Lord's blessings we became one
As we married under the blessing of the Son
The Lord God made us one when we were two
Before family and friends when we said, 'I Do'
In marriage, we have always lived as three
Serving the Lord Jesus Christ who set us free
Sustained by God's Word, prayer, church, and family of four
Loving one another each year more and more
Surpassing marriage anniversary of 10 and five
Into a new house and new beginnings we dive
Living as an extended family of six
With the love of Jesus always in our mix
Celebrating with our in-laws marriage anniversary of seven
As we sung worship songs to the Lord God of earth and Heaven
Living our lives in the loving grace of Jesus' promise in Ephesians 2:8
Even in marriage struggles upon the Lord Jesus we wait
Claiming the promises of  Joshua 1:8-9
Rooting our marriage life in Jesus, the perfect Vine
Love you sooo much as we celebrate marriage anniversary of ten
Knowing marriage stays strong with Jesus who blesses women and men!

Family and friends, please pray for our married life that it would please the Lord Jesus Christ more than anyone else :)

"Our 10 year marriage anniversary musical slideshow!"

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