Ramesh C. Reddy
One day while I was taking a walk and talking to the Lord, I was
wondering why some people don't get pregnant no matter how many
years they try while others have so many children.
I had to wonder if sin could be the cause even though I knew,
without direct sin too, people suffer because we live in a fallen
world. Things going wrong in people's lives makes sense when they
are sinful. There is ample evidence for sin being a cause for things
going wrong but not always.
"Master," his disciples asked him, "why was this man born blind? Was
it a result of his own sins or those of his parents?" (John 9:2,
The inference here is that the man's blindness was caused by his own
sin or his parent's sin.
"Neither," Jesus answered. "But to demonstrate the power of God."
(John 9:3, TLB)
The inference here is that a bad thing in our eyes is not
necessarily the result of sin.
In another situation, Jesus found a man in the Temple, who was
healed of paralysis after 38 years and told him,"Now
you are well; don't sin as you did before, or something even worse
may happen to you." (John 5:14, TLB)
The inference here is that the man's sin caused him to be paralyzed
for 38 years. If he commits the same sin again after 38 years,
something even worse may happen to him. Yet, in the Lord's grace, he
asks the man, "Do you want to get well?"
As I continued to pray, the story of Michal, King David's wife came
to my mind.
When I was watching the story of King David & Michal with my
precious wife Chandraleela and our
precious daughters Esther &
Evangeline, I was reminded of what
happened to Michal, David's wife, who was the daughter of King Saul.
"So Michal was childless throughout her life." (2 Samuel 6:23, TLB)
I was very disturbed when I read this because Michal's lifetime
barrenness was a result of her unspoken and spoken actions towards
her husband King David and most of all towards the Lord. I was
utterly shocked how mean a wife could be towards her husband even
when he is doing something for the Lord.
"As the ark of the LORD was entering the City of David, Michal
daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David
leaping and dancing before the LORD, she despised him in her heart."
(2 Samuel 6:16, NIV)
We should never forget that the sins of the father/mother can be
passed on to their children. King Saul had an issue with King David
and shows it by his actions. Now, his daughter seems no different
than her daddy.
"When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of
Saul came out to meet him and said, 'How the king of Israel has
distinguished himself today, going around half-naked in full view of
the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!" (2
Samuel 6:20, NIV)
Ouch! Michal used a phrase such as 'any vulgar
fellow would' towards her husband.
How would you feel if you had just come home after worshipping the
Lord before the people and your spouse insults you after you come
through the door?
How would you respond?
"David said to Michal, "It was before the LORD, who chose me rather
than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler
over the LORD'S people Israel--- I will celebrate before the LORD. I
will become even more undignified than this, and I will be
humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I
will be held in honor." (2 Samuel 6:21-22, NIV)
It is so sad that David felt humiliated by his own wife when he came
home. Not only that but he felt he was held in honor by slave girls
compared to his own wife. Even in this humiliation, he is letting
his wife Michal know that 'It was before the
LORD' that he was doing it and not necessarily for the sake
of the slave girls.
What I did not like about David's statement was that he did not end
it at "It was the LORD, who chose me".
Instead, he rubs it in that he was chosen over her daddy or anyone
from her house. I know David was hurt by his wife's behavior but
there was no need for him to put her family down.
I hope we never put down our in-laws like David did.
It must be so hard to be in a marriage where the husband or wife
expect more allegiance to them than even the LORD. This is what we
see with Michal where Michal wanted King David to behave in a
certain way that pleased her over the Lord.
Otherwise, she would not have despised King David for dancing before
"And when she saw King David leaping
and dancing before the LORD, she despised him in her heart." (2
Samuel 6:16, NIV)
How painful it must have been for King David to be rejected by his
own wife because he chose the Lord!
When I was pursuing a match on Shaadi.com for marriage purposes, my
mom was praying for a daughter-in-law who would love Jesus more than
she would love her own son. She wanted my wife to love Jesus more
asked the Lord to give me a wife who would love Jesus more than me!
I never wanted my wife to give me first place over the Lord. That's
why even when she would call me from India, 'I would ask her if she
spent time with the Lord?'. If she answered 'No', I would request
her to spend time with Jesus first praying and reading the Word of
God before calling me. Then, we would share what we learned in God's
Word over the phone. In our courting days, I found out that my
precious Chandraleela also prayed for a
husband who would love the Lord more than her.
In our 10+ years of marriage, if I have been doing anything with the
Lord in mind, my wife never gave me pain or humiliated me like
Michal did to David. If I was doing it with the Lord in mind, even
in pain she supported me. I am so blessed to have a wife who
understood if I was doing something before the Lord, she went along
with it even if she did not always 100% agree with it. A husband
needs his wife's support to do the Lord's work without humiliation
like King David went through. I am so blessed to have that from
"A worthy wife is her husband's joy and crown; the other kind
corrodes his strength and tears down everything he does." (Proverbs
"A father can give his sons homes and riches, but only the Lord can
give them understanding wives." (Proverbs 19:14, TLB)
Do you think King David and Michal's marriage was ever the same
I don't think so! Sadly, Michal was cursed with barenness all her
life after her interaction with her husband! What a terrible price
to pay to go against the LORD and his anointed one.
We don't hear about Michal again in the next five chapters but a new
character is introduced.
"One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof
of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was
very beautiful, and David sent someone to find out about her. The
man said, "She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of
Uriah the Hittite." Then David sent messengers to get her. She came
to him, and he slept with her...Then she went back home. The woman
conceived and sent word to David, saying, "I am pregnant." (2 Samuel
What King David did was utterly wrong commiting adultery with
We have Michal who never became pregnant in her life as a punishment
for her actions. Her sin caused her barenness.
We have Bathsheba who became pregnant in her life after sleeping
with King David. David and Bathsheba's sin caused the death of their
Is it more painful to be barren and never experience pregnancy or is
it more painful to experience pregnancy and lose the child right in
front of you?
When I thought about Michal's sin and the consequences because she
not only went up against her husband but against the Lord, I was
really saddened. She paid a heavy price for challenging David and
humiliating David for doing the Lord's work.
For the most part, any woman who gets married wants to be a mother.
To lose that ability can be so painful. It is that much more painful
when it has to do with specific sin because it could have been
Based on this. it is not wrong to wonder if a woman really wants to
get pregnant and she is not getting pregnant, is their any sin in
her life or her husband's life that he/she has not repented of?
Even though, Pastor Josh did not preach
about barenness this past Sunday, I loved his sermon on exhorting
the congregation never to make the mistake because God is love, He
won't judge people's sins.
If any woman wants to get pregnant and she is not getting pregnant,
it is so easy to blame the husband for not getting pregnant, etc but
what if it is deep sin in the family?
Is their mockery and animosity towards the Lord like Michal had?
Is their marital conflict between husband and wife like Michal had
it with David?
Is their family conflict, unforgiveness, bitterness, hatred,
vengeance, envy, etc in the family?
Is their sexual sin, etc involved in marital relationship?
I think these are valid questions to think about when we reflect on
Our sins needs to be confessed and repented of before moving forward
with a family! What is comforting to know is that the Lord can in
His love and grace even open the wombs of barren women that they may
be fruitful and multiply in His timing.
"Then Abraham prayed, asking God to cure the king and queen and the
other women of the household, so that they could have children; for
God had stricken all the women with barrenness to punish Abimelech
for taking Abraham's wife." (Genesis 20:17-18, TLB)
Ouch! One man's actions not only caused barrenness for his household
but for all the women of the household.
So, never ever think your sin will not affect you or those around
"But because Jacob was slighting Leah, Jehovah let her have a child,
while Rachel was barren." (Genesis 29:31, TLB)
It is so important to remember that Jacob loved Rachel more than
Leah! But because of his actions towards Leah, her sister Rachel
suffered. Jacob would have rather had children with Rachel than Leah
but Rachel was barren while the Lord allowed Leah to have children.
"Rachel, realizing she was barren, became envious of her sister,
"Give me children or I'll die," she exclaimed to Jacob. Jacob flew
into a rage. "Am I God?" he flared."He is the one who is responsible
for your barrenness." (Genesis 30:1-2, TLB)
How sad and convenient for Jacob to blame it on the Lord and not
look within himself for his sin. We are so quick to blame
others when things don't go our own way without looking into
ourselves. I have been so guilty of that too!
When Chandraleela wanted to be a mother
so badly, she was not conceiving. It was really sad for us every
month when we knew she was not going to get pregnant. But, I always
reminded her that I married her for her whether we ever have
children or not. But, I also told her in the Lord's timing and in
His grace, He could open up her womb so she can be pregnant. By the
Lord's grace, in September of 2012, she gave birth to our beautiful
daughter Esther. Then, we wanted to
have another child but for 3 years nothing was happening, so we
prayed if there was any sin in our life that was preventing her from
being pregnant, please forgive us Lord. By the Lord's grace, in May
of 2015, she gave birth to our precious
From these experiences, I know that even if we cannot pinpoint sin
in our life that is deliberate, because we live in a fallen world,
sometimes things don't happen as we wish they would happen. But the
most important thing I learned is that the Lord's timing is not our
timing and sin should never be in the back of our mind.
We should never put ourselves in a position where we wonder if our
wife has not conceived, is it because of her sin or the man's sin?
Even though it is painful, it is better knowing a wife has not
conceived even though the family has been righteous than knowing a
wife has not conceived because there is blatant sin without
This reminds me of Pascal's Wager.
Pascal's Wager states,
"If you don't believe in God and God
exists, there is Eternal Damnation or Hell. If you don't believe in
God and God does not exist, nothing happens. If you believe in God
and God exists, there is Eternal Life or Heaven. If you believe in
God and God does not exist, nothing happens."
In the same way, "If you sin, then barrenness could exist, and it is
a fault of your own. However, if you don't sin and barrenness could
still exist, it is NOT a fault of your own."
I would rather have a man/woman live their life knowing barrenness
was not a result of sin rather than knowing barrenness was the
result of sin.
Why take the risk?
You won't have to wonder that, if you are right before the Lord and
your fellow man.
Does it mean wicked women will never conceive?
Not necessarily. They could but there is no guarantee. Even if they
did, it is the Lord's sovereign grace that allowed it for His
No one should ever have to wonder,
'what if my negative actions caused my
"What if you lived your life being righteous but have not
Even though it is painful, you can rest in the Lord knowing He has
His perfect timing for you to conceive. If that is not going to
happen, if He wants a husband/wife to be parents, He will provide
other ways such as foster case, adoption, etc.
I loved Pastor Josh's sermon reminding
us that it is better to suffer for being righteous than to suffer
for doing sinful deeds this past Sunday.
"Do what is right; then if men speak against you, calling you evil
names, they will become ashamed of themselves for falsely accusing
you when you have only done what is good. Remember, if God wants you
to suffer, it is better to suffer for doing good than for doing
wrong!" (2 Peter 3:16-17, TLB)
"Never pay back evil for evil. Do things in such a way that everyone
can see you are honest clear through. Don't quarrel with anyone. Be
at peace with everyone, just as much as possible. Dear friends,
never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God, for he has said that he
will repay those who deserve it. Don't take the law into your own
hands. Instead, feed your enemy if he is hungry. If he is thirsty
give him something to drink and you will be "heaping coals of fire
on his head." In other words, he will feel ahamed of himself for
what he has done to you. Don't let evil get the upper hand, but
conquer evil by doing good." (Romans 12:17-21, TLB)
Even though Abraham & Sarah and Zechariah & Elizabeth were barren,
in the Lord's timing, He gave both of them children. We read about
Abraham's faith and Zechariah's righteousness. Still, until they
were old, they did not conceive.
If you are faithful to the Lord, you never have to worry about what
will happen. He will take care of you and give you the strength to
move on no matter how much painful it is. I know because I have seen
loved ones suffer wanting to have children and not having them
without a fault of their own. They are the kindest people I know! In
the Lord's timing however after adoption, they were able to have
their own. Others still struggle but rest in the Lord.
We only have to worry if our actions do not reflect how the Lord
Jesus wants us to live our lives!
To be on the safe side, if my wife and I want to have a third child,
we need to examine ourselves to see if there is any sin in us that
has not been repented of. We never want to have to wonder if sin is
a result of not getting pregnant if we try for a third child. I know
I don't want to wonder about that as I think about God's Word.
"God doesn't listen to the prayers of those who flout the law."
(Proverbs 28:9, TLB)
In closing, I want to end with a Scripture passage that
Pastor Josh so wonderfully preached on
from 1 Peter 3.
"You husbands must be careful of your wives, being thoughtful of
their needs and honoring them as the weaker sex. Remember that you
and your wife are partners in receiving God's blessings, and if you
don't treat her as you should, your prayers will not get ready
answers." (2 Peter 3:7, TLB)
"And now this word to all of you: You should be like one big happy
family, full of sympathy toward each other, loving one another with
tender hearts and humble minds. Don't repay evil for evil. Don't
snap back at those who say unkind things about you. Instead, pray
for God's help for them, for we are to be kind to others, and God
will bless us for it." (2 Peter 3:8-9, TLB)
"If you want a happy, good life, keep control of your tongue, and
guard your lips from telling lies. Turn away from evil and do good.
Try to live in peace even if you must run after it to catch and hold
it! For the Lord is watching his children, listening to their
prayers; but the Lord's face is hard against those who do evil." (2
Peter 3:10, TLB)
Reddy's Right Rhetoric takes you into the
world of sin's fruit of barrenness without repentance!