Casual sex cheapens a person
(Rebuttal I to Kate Mavrich's' Pitt
News A&E features article: "Make her your baby tonight")
Ramesh C. Reddy
Editor in Chief
I was reading Katie Mavrich’s
article appearing in the Jan 08, 02 edition of the Pitt News in the Arts &
Entertainment section. Disbelief is the one word I can use to describe her
Her article was called ‘Make her your baby
tonight’ which was filled with trashy sexual annotations.
If you are a guy she wants you to know,
“And most importantly, they [girls] will have sex with you
without even dating you! Why? Because you are a man of CCR.”
CCR is supposed to stand for compliments,
compassion, and reassurance! She gives her reasoning based on a book by John
Fate and Steve Reil called “Make Every Girl Want You.”
Come on lets be logical. If a guy was
genuinely complimentary, compassionate, and reassuring towards a girl, he would
care for her for who she is as a person and not to service himself with her for
his own drive the first time he meets her in a club, bar, classroom, etc.
Ladies if you think a guy is really
complimentary, compassionate, and reassuring towards you the first time you meet
him, he just maybe a nice guy without ulterior motives. On the other hand if he
wants your body, warning bells should go of. Don’t be naïve enough to fall for
those guys. Those guys are ready to use you up and then go to the next service
station to service themselves. I use the phrase ‘service station’ because if you
are being used, they are servicing themselves with you and when they feel empty
they move on to the next. Pretty sad that you become one of their trophies.
Ladies if you are so
charmed by a guy you meet for the first time that has compliments, compassion,
and reassurance for you, does that make you want to go to bed with him
even if he is a stranger and it is without marriage? How do you know he was not
putting on a front to get into bed with you?
It is so sickening that Fate and Reil
emphasize CCR for hedonistic and self-gratifying desires that do not last. They
themselves may have had pleasure having casual sex with every Jane Doe they met
for the first time but that’s all it would ever be: ‘Temporary Pleasure’.
Yet, it is this they want to teach you so you too can join them in the ranks of
living a lustful life that will be just casual. It is utterly shocking that they
don’t have any sense of fulfillment in marriage. This is evidenced by Mavrich’s
Mavrich states, “John
Fate and Steve Reil say that after you build trust, you can invite your girl
“friend” on a weekend trip alone with you, and without any effort on your part
she will be happy to get down and dirty with you.”
How can they even talk
Building trust takes time and does not
happen on the first meeting. If trust is a prerequisite to ‘get down and dirty’,
Maverich and the authors contradict themselves when it is stated,
“They will have sex with you without even dating you.”
How can you build
trust without dating a person for awhile?
It is during a date a person begins the
journey of getting to know the other person. After that if sex becomes an option
in their relationship, it is not because of CCR. Love does not start with sex.
If sex becomes the #1 backbone of being with a woman, what you have is not love
That’s why so
many guys dump girls after making out including making many pregnant. You could
make her your baby tonight but it would be a one time thing. Most guys
don’t want to take any responsibility for their casual sex. Ladies usually it is
all of you that are left to take the pain including the killing choice of
murdering a baby through abortion.
I guess Fate and Reil do not care if that
happens because the main thing they wanted to give you is ways to have casual
sex. The title of the book alone makes that point.
Love on the other hand is patient and kind,
never jealous or envious, never boastful or proud, it does not seek its own way,
it is full of trust and believing. Love looks out for the best interests of
According to Mavrich,
the author’s of the book also point out, “But don’t do this [‘invite your girl
“friend” on a weekend trip’] before you meet some of her friends, because you
might want to sleep with one of them instead, and if you sleep with her first,
your chances are ruined.”
How twisted can
someone be when it comes to relationships?
People are not objects to be
toyed with and thrown away when the pleasure is gone. This is what casual sex
makes it to be. I guess the authors have no sense of commitment and chivalry. As
a guy, it does not seem they want you to be committed too but keep checking out
girls for casual sex as they have done. Mavrich does not seem to have a problem
with that but I do.
You know what, without having a
sense of commitment, you will be checking out people the rest of your life. Know
this as a fact: ‘There will always be someone more beautiful and charming than
the one you are with. That’s life! True love is committed and looks beyond that
making the person you are with feel like they are the most special, cared for,
and appreciated person in the world. It does not start with sex but with true
When the article could not get
any worse, Mavrich boldly states, “guys on campus
shouldn’t have a hard time finding a girl to sleep after a frat party or even
after a study session at the library.”
It is pretty pathetic and sad
that Mavrich wants students to think about sex the first day they return to
waiting for that person with CCR so you can have sex with him?
Wait until you are married, it
will be good for you! There is that special person out there for you who you can
spend the rest of your life with.
Why bother with Fate and Reil’s
thrashy book except for some common sense pointers you do not need their book
for! If you are really looking for a good book on dating,
I recommend Joshua Harris’ ‘Boy Meets Girl’ and ‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’.
If you buy that book and read
it, I will reimburse you if you honestly felt it was a waste of your money. Just
bring me the receipt.
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