“Please Always Respect Everyday, Now Trusting Savior! (P.A.R.E.N.T.S)”

By Ramesh C.Reddy
Pittsburgh Standard

June 14, 2008

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Observations:
I asked myself what are the comparisons Jesus makes?

Comparison 1:
‘You have a fine way of setting aside the commands of God in order to observe your own traditions.’ (Mark 7:9, NIV)

Comparison 2:
For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and mother, ‘and, ‘Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.’ But you say that if a man says to his father or mother: ‘Whatever help you might otherwise have received from me is Corban’ (that is, a gift devoted to God), then you no longer let him do anything for his father or mother. (Mark 9:10-12, NIV)

Comparison 3:
'Thus you nullify the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And you do many things like that.’ (Mark 9:13, NIV)

Interpretation:
I asked myself what it means to ‘honor’ someone?
What came to my mind is when honor is bestowed upon someone they are valued and treated specially. They are spoken well of and they feel honored. What they have done and contributed is recognized. They are given honorary titles. They are respected and many times their needs are met by those honoring them. They are taken care of.

I asked myself what it means for me to ‘honor father and mother’?
For me it means to make them feel valued and treat them specially. It means to speak well of them and make them feel honored to be my parents. It means to recognize what they have done for me and how they have contributed to my life.  It means giving them honorary titles. It means to respect them, take care of them, and meet their needs when I am able to. This is what honoring father and mother means to me.

Implications:
I saw important implications for my own life. There are no but’s and if’s when it comes to honoring father and mother. Honoring my father and mother is not the same as being obedient to them. We can honor someone by our actions and still let them see if what they are asking us goes against the Word of God, it is something we cannot do. Honor has a lot to do with our words and actions even when we cannot always obey what our parents want for us when it is contrary to God’s Word. They need to see it in a loving way and not ‘it’s my life and I choose to do what I want so keep away’. That is not what honoring father and mother is for. I can share with them what I feel convicted of what the Lord wants me to do with my life and ask for their blessings. This is showing honor to them too. Whether they give their blessings or not, is not up to me. I did my part in honoring them. I need to leave the results in the Lord’s hands. This approach should be taken in our careers, academics, relationships, etc to involve our parents and not shut them out.

Honoring parents does not stop when we turn 18. Jesus was speaking to the Pharisees and teachers of the law and they were more than 18. Jesus wanted them to continue to honor their father and mother. Jesus was upset with them because they were not doing that. They were twisting God’s Word for the sake of tradition and ignoring their parents. Jesus was not happy with that. Jesus spoke about gifts devoted to God or tithing but at the same time Jesus did not want parents to feel dishonored. Jesus wanted parents needs to be met and at the same time gifts devoted to God or tithing to be met too. This is included somewhere else in Scripture but cannot remember the reference.

It is very interesting when God gave the commandments to Moses, the first 4 commandments were man’s responsibility to God. It was for a vertical relationship between Man-God. The next 6 commandments were man’s responsibility to man. It was for a horizontal relationship between human beings.

But, the first commandment for a horizontal relationship between human beings started right at home. After the Lord gave the first 4 commandments, the Lord gave the 5^th commandment which had to do with parents. All the other commandments followed. I believe this is because so much emphasis was put upon honoring and respecting parents after giving honor and respect to God since the Lord placed them in authority over us.

The fifth commandment with a promise states, "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” (Exodus 20:12, NIV)

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:1-2, NIV)

Obedience and honor are mentioned simultaneously. This tells me to that there is a difference between obedience (when we are children) and honor (when we are children and become adults)

The Pharisees and teachers of the law have not done that and that made Jesus really mad. All their religious devotion and what they were doing really meant nothing to Jesus because they were not honoring their parents.

God emphasizes honoring parents so seriously that death became the sentence for those dishonoring parents or cursing them. That is really powerful and shows us how much God wants us to honor our parents and never curse them.

Honoring parents is not based on what they have done for us or what they do to us. Honoring parents is because God wants us to honor them.

As we are obedient to the Lord, He will take care of us. Even as I write this, I am reminded of families where children are sexually abused, physically abused, verbally abused, where children are ignored by the parents, etc.

Our Lord knows that happens and those He gave to protect His children do not take their responsibility seriously and forfeit that responsibility because of their actions.

It is because of that there are wonderful organizations our Lord placed here on earth that come to the rescue of God’s children. Many times children are removed from their parents home because they are neglected and abused. Our Lord does not want that to happen to His precious children. If parent/s whom the Lord placed over a child to take care of them abuse that privilege and responsibility, the Lord will place those children where they can be loved and take care of. We live in a sinful world and sadly bad things happen to children.

One thing I learned is we can watch out for children who may be abused or neglected and take it upon ourselves to meet their needs whether it is by adopting them, placing them in loving homes who want to have children, etc

I mention all this because honoring parents does not mean living through the abuse as children. When the Lord places someone in authority over someone else, in this case parents over children, they are placed there to take care of them. When that authority is abused, in essence they lose the right to take care of them.

However, when that person grows up and becomes an adult, they still have responsibility to honor their parents and not ignore them. This is what I believe strongly and when God gives us a commandment, He will help us.

I ask you now dear friend, how do you honor your parents in life?
Dear friend, parents are placed in your life to take care of you here on earth. The Lord sees the role of parents so important that it is the first of the commandments with a promise that when we honor our father and mother, our life will be blessed. We may not see the blessings right away but God always keeps His promises.

You may not have a good relationship with your parent/s because of what may have happened in your life. The Lord knows about it friend and will meet you where you are at as you wait upon Him. Whatever happens we should never curse our parents no matter how mad we are at them, etc. Also, honoring parents means to speak respectably of them when we speak to others. 

Respect is using words such as my mother, my father, my mama, my papa, my mom, my dad, my mommy, my daddy, etc and not ‘my old man, my old woman’. That is so disrespectful and dishonorable. Sadly, I see that happen even among young students who address their parents that way to friends.

Your parents maybe old or young, but they still need to be respected. If they are old, they need more respect as our elders. When we honor our mother and father, the Lord knows that and He becomes very pleased with us.

We should always be aware of our parents needs and try to meet them where they are at even when we have our own families. As long as the Lord places them here on earth until the day they go to be with Him, we have a responsibility and commandment to honor them and take care of them. Even after they leave this earth, we should always honor them among our own children.

Parents do not usually ask their kids for help unless they are really desperate. It should not even come to that stage if we keep up with how our parents are doing.

Jesus took, taking care of parents very seriously. Jesus first addressed honoring parents, then not cursing them, and finally meeting their needs. When Jesus was crucified, Jesus called for his disciple John and asked him to take care of his mother Mary. When wine ran out during a wedding festivity, His mother went to Him and asked for help. Jesus honored Mary, His mom by doing what she asked.

Whatever opportunities I have, I take it as a privilege and honor to help my parents if I think they are in need. Through my years of campus ministry, financially when I was in a jam,  it was my parents that the Lord used to meet my needs. Even when I lived away from home, my beloved dad who went to be with Jesus on Dec 17, 2007 would always tell my mommy to please call Ramesh home so he could have a home-cooked meal even when doing ministry is not something my dad agreed with at the time.

Wherever my brothers are even when we have dishonored them by our actions, they always care for us and shepherd us.  I am so thankful to the Lord for both my parents.

Our actions speak louder than words. If our parents are not believers and we are followers of Christ, all we say to them may leave from one ear to the other but if they see us living our lives to the teachings of Jesus, they will notice the difference and take notice even if they have been hostile for days, months, or years.

Honoring parents does not mean we dishonor God or be disobedient to God. I became a follower of Jesus Christ because Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No man comes to the Father except through Jesus.

When my dad went into cardiac arrest on October 7, 2007, I thank Jesus so much for bringing him back to life because the paramedics had asked the question 'how long has he been dead'. I had prayed to Jesus not to let Satan take my daddy because my daddy did not know the Lord yet. Jesus did intervene and gave breath to my dad.

They rushed my dad to the hospital where he was in the ICU until November 1, 2007 of his birthday. Later, he was in a Kindred Hospital until Dec 17, 2008. During that time, especially in the ICU, my brothers and I were there almost 12-16 hours a day around the clock with my mom near my dad's side or close by. Even after the ICU, I would got to Kindred Hospital everyday to be with my dad and tell him I loved him. My mom would read the New Testament and Psalms to my dad. My mom read the entire New Testament to my dad twice and the Christmas story multiple times.

I am so thankful that my dad gave His life to Christ and I believe it started with the continual honor we bestowed upon him even when he was so sick. He saw our lives reflecting the love of Christ especially my mom's life who was with my dad almost 24-7 everyday without leaving the hospital 99% of the time.

We wanted our dad to come to know Jesus because He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life and no one comes to the Father except through Jesus. We wanted Jesus to cleanse my dad of all His sins with the Lord's precious cleansing blood so when my dad leaves this earth and comes before God, God could see the righteousness of Christ covering over him and give Him entrance to Heaven.

Honoring parents should not have any ulterior motives even if it is evangelism except to honor because that is what our Lord Jesus wants us to do. It won't always be easy to deal with parents who nag and petrify if that is what you are faced with but the Lord Jesus will give you strength to honor.

I want to share with you a poem the Lord helped me write years ago to help others deal with their parents.

Peace Through Petrifying Parenting (Read Ephesians 6:1-3)
               By Ramesh C. Reddy (http://www.pitt.edu/~rcrst6/Devotional.html)

Your parents are always on your case?
Always in your face?
Feel like you are hit with mace?

Cause from your parents so much interference?
That's making you so tense?
Feel like you are surrounded by electrical fence?
Whatever your parents say, doesn't make no sense?
For your own way, you have no clearance?

You can still be glad.
You won't need to be constantly sad
Jesus Christ loves you more than your Mom or Dad (Isa 43:1-6)

Jesus will always be on your side. (John 14:18)
Jesus Christ will let you happily glide. (Psalm 28:17)
Jesus loves you more than you can comprehend (John 15:13)
Your wounds Jesus will mend (Psa 147:3)

He can change your parents’ heart (Matt 19:26)
Please depend on Christ giving Him a start (Rev 3:20)
Jesus will do His part (Psa 32:8)

If your parents are wrong, Christ will let them know.
And make you on the right path go. (Jer 29:11)
As you OBEDIENCE, according to God's Will Sow. (Eph 6:1)

Friend, whatever your relationship with your parents is, Jesus knows about it. Jesus loves you so much and cares for you. Yes, He does and every commandment our Lord gives is for our own good. May you know how much Jesus loves you and depend on Him to honor your father and mother without exceptions! Amen!

“Please Always Respect Everyday, Now Trusting Savior!” (P.A.R.E.N.T.S)/”How do you honor your P.A.R.E.N.T.S in life?”

Prayer:
Dear Lord Jesus, thank you for loving me so much. Thank you for dying for my sin and coming back to life to save me. I am so sorry for all my sins especially for the times you have brought to my attention when I have dishonored my parents. Forgive me Oh Lord and help us all to honor our parents/guardians you have placed over us. Help us to be there to meet their needs when we are able to Oh Lord. With you all things are possible Oh Lord, so even when it is difficult to honor parents, we ask you for your strength and wisdom to do what you ask us to. Thank you so much Jesus, honoring parents and meeting their needs is taken so seriously by you that you were upset with the Pharisees and teachers of the law for not doing that. Help us not to go their path but to walk in the path you want for us. And Lord if our parents are not followers of you, help our actions to make them realize that something is different about us. No matter what conflicts we have had, we ask you for your help so we can honor our parents. Thank you so much Jesus for helping us. Thank you for hearing us and answering us! I pray right now for the one who has difficulty to face their parent/parents. Help them to have the love you shower upon them and exhibit that love with your help. Thank you so much Jesus! Please Jesus be our All in All through what we all face in life that we can be who you would want us to be. We need you more than ever. We want to feel your hands around us holding us tight. We want your love to surround us all through the night. We want your presence to glow in our lives. Thank you for loving me. You hear our voice when we cry for your help! Thank you for your help Jesus. Thank you that you have heard us and answered us! In Your Name I Pray Jesus! Amen!

Make this your prayer. Don’t let the enemy deceive you into thinking you need all the answers before coming to Christ. Let me just assure you though you may not have all the answers right now before coming to Jesus, He will answer them slowly. Yes, He will for I know our Redeemer will! Amen!

Prayer:
Jesus, I thank you for being the Bread of Life. You are the Living Bread of my life. Thank you for coming from Heaven and giving your life for the life of the world. You sacrificed yourself for humanity. Thank you Lord when we eat of you symbolically making you part of our life, digesting what you teach us by following you, we can be living Eternally, and the fruit that comes will reflect and resemble your life. I want that Father God. I want that Lord Jesus! I want that Holy Spirit! I know of a lot of people who partake of Holy Communion where the bread represents your body broken for their sin and the juice represents your blood shed for their sin. When we partake of Holy Communion, we are reminded that we are remembering you. I want to remember you always Lord Jesus. But for me to remember you always, I need to know you and acknowledge everything you said you are. So right now I acknowledge that you are my Lord and Personal Savior who died and rose again to give me life from sin. So right now, I come to you and say how sorry I am for my sin and living a life on my own. I repent of my sin and ask you to forgive me of my sin with your cleansing blood which I accept. Wash me and I will be clean from this infection of sin. Come Lord Jesus and please become part of my life as you live in me and I will live for you. I thank you Jesus for coming into my heart and making my heart your home. Thank you for living in me Jesus and I will live for you and serve you the rest of the days of my life. I do need your Spirit to reside in me and work in me and through me so I surrender all that I am and will be to you. Whatever your will is for me, please give me the strength and willingness to bear it and rejoice in you. Thank you so much Jesus. I thank you Jesus for becoming my Lord and Personal Savior. I thank you Jesus you have heard my prayer and have answered me. I thank you that I am your child Oh God. I thank you for becoming my only Way to Eternal Life. In Your Name I Pray Jesus! Amen!